Regret....

3/6/2018

Gordon Hunter

It’s not so much today but the days leading up to this day 11 years ago that I can vividly remember. Childs Michael Harper passed away on March 6, 2007. His 21st birthday was Saturday, March 3rd. It was during my Junior year of college, and I was playing in a volleyball tournament at Emory University that weekend. The last time I spoke to Mike, I told him I would be coming to visit him at some point on Saturday, his birthday. Michael entered into a coma about two hours before I arrived at the Kennesaw Hospital on Sunday, March 4th. I can still hear Mr. Harper’s voice when I arrived as he told me Michael was unresponsive. I was able to see him in the ICU that day. As the tears flowed down my face I told him happy belated birthday, and I was sorry. He never heard those words as Mike’s battle with cancer ended and the good Lord called him home a few days later. I helped carry his casket to its final resting place the following week.

To this day, I regret not taking the time on that Saturday, March 3rd in 2007 to see Michael in the hospital. I made a selfish decision that cost me being able to spend some quality time with one of my best friends one last time.

Michael was a random roommate that I was assigned upon my arrival in Statesboro to attend Georgia Southern University. I met him and his family for the first time on August 11th, 2004. He was quiet and reserved but extremely smart. He taught himself to play the guitar in a few hours during the spring of our freshmen year and later helped teach me my first song on a six string (“Free Fallin’” by Tom Petty). Some would say we were unlikely friends because of how different he and I were. Our relationship worked really well because he attempted to keep my feet on the ground and I pushed him to take his feet off of the ground. I like to think I helped bring Mike out of his shell, but I know I learned so much from him. I still miss him daily.

Regret is a feeling I know well. There are plenty of decisions in my life that I wish I hadn't made. I feel the weight of those decisions but that weight has impacted me positively. I have a strong relationship with the Harpers, Mike’s parents, partly because of that feeling of regret. In fact, Mike’s mother, Mrs. Ginger, has seen my bride coach all three of Calvary’s Volleyball State Championships, and Mr. Harper has only missed one of those games. I have found that I learn best from my own errors. The feeling of past mistakes helps push me not to make them in the future.

Paul wrote in Philippians 3:13: “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” I don't believe there are many walking this earth who can say that they have no regrets at all. Jack Wellman quoted this scripture and said, “I have many but I learned from my mistakes and I must move forward taking these lessons with me to not repeat the same mistakes and now the goal is the upward call of Christ and that is my focus. I don’t drive using the rearview mirror and so neither should I live the Christian life with regrets.”

One of my longest childhood friends Zach Albers recently encouraged me not to focus on my past but to move forward. Roughly quoting him, he said, “Gordon, you are a good person, don’t try to convince yourself otherwise.” He reminded me that the mistakes of my past help shape me into the man I am today.

My encouragement to parents would be to allow your kids to try difficult things and fail when the time comes. Let them make some mistakes and experience the regret while under your watchful eye. Undoubtedly, like most of us, they will experience regret later in life. In my opinion, the earlier they experience that regret, the less likely they will be to repeat the mistake down the road.

Michael fought the good fight, he finished the race, and he kept the faith until his final day on this earth. While I miss him and regret the opportunity I didn’t take to say my final goodbye, I know we will meet again. Rest in peace my good friend. While you may be gone, you are not forgotten.

Childs Michael Harper

3/3/1986 - 3/6/2007

Gordon Hunter is the Director of Development at Calvary Day School. He received his B.S. in Public Relations from Georgia Southern University in 2008. He is currently pursuing his Masters in Sports Management. Gordon is a member of Garden City United Methodist Church and a Savannah native. He believes that all Christians are called to give: give of your talents, time and resources. Deuteronomy 16:17 “Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which he has given to you.” Gordon is married to Calvary High School Physical Education teacher and Varsity Volleyball coach Hannah Hunter. They have one son, Nelson, who was born in July 2015. In his spare time he enjoys the outdoors, golf, and spending time with family.

Back